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  • I Got My Ate At Custom Printed Hat

    via shutupandtakemymoney.com
    So I ordered this custom hat that says “I Got My Ate”—a proud tribute to my sister. But people keep asking if it means I literally got eaten. One guy at a BBQ whispered, “Is that a survival story?” Another shouted, “Congrats, bro! Finally scored!” Even my own mom texted, “Call me. Are you in a gang now?” I wore it to church. Big mistake. The pastor paused mid-sermon to say, “Let us pray for this man and his devoured sibling.” Mora
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  • Dog Wig

    via shutupandtakemymoney.com
    It started with an Instagram ad at 2 AM—“Your dog deserves a full head of luscious locks.” I clicked faster than my dog chases squirrels. Two days later, a hot pink curly dog wig arrived, and my border collie went from “farm chic” to “Beverly Hills housewife” in under ten seconds. Her tail wagged with the smug confidence of someone who knows they just upstaged the entire neighborhood.
    Suddenly, life changed. Walks turned into paparazzi moments. People st
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